Lord of the Ring of Fools


August 6, 2011 | 7:36 PM

Lord of the Ring of Fools

Lord of the Ring of Fools

Well I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed to have the characters of JRR Tolkien’s Middle Earth being brought into the debate as things wound down on the debt debate charade of the year. You see The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and the granddaddy of them both – The Silmarilian, were books I tore through from cover to cover on many an occasion. I was a Tolkien nerd from the standpoint of knowing every crest of the houses of Elf, Man, and Dwarf and I even had mastered a bit of Elvish. So when Arizona Senator John McCain invoked hobbits as a Tea Party Activist descriptor, Tolkienites throughout the land heard him loud and clear,

Now before I sear a layer of flesh from McCain (hereinafter known as “McGrump”), I need the set the record straight on what characters in Middle Earth align with the current reign of darkness in Mordor (formerly known as Washington DC). I have seen some match ups on the web, best we need to be unified and concise out of respect for the characters in fiction and slap around the characters in flesh. Here is my list and I hope you enjoy it:

  • Barack H Obama is the King of The Nazgul; A Ringwraith, Leader of the Nine Black Riders – He has the ability to lead Man, but is easily ensnared by power & corruption; is easily distracted by objects such as an adorned ring designed to capture his soul; has sold his soul to a Master in hiding. I know many wanted BO as Sauron, but that is too high up in pay grade for this puppet and the Nazgul are puppets serving one Master.
  • George Soros is Morgoth. Now if you have not read The Silmarilian, then now is your chance for some great reading. Morgoth is the name given by the Elves to the first Dark Lord Melkor for the pain and anguish he made them endure during the First Age. He was one of the original Vala and is far more powerful than Sauron would ever become. Soros’ pure evil of his world vision grants him this role.
  • Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton is Sauron. Is she one of the Puppet Masters for BO? I think so. Look at what she is doing at the Department of State and all her “work” with the UN. Barry wants to change the world, but only knows socialism and crashing economies. Hillary is changing the world at the UN for her One World Order. Clinton will come out of her position with the DOS with far more power and appeal that Barry. Barry’s wrecking of the US economy and its worldwide impact have assured that only one will rise. Secretary Clinton learned from the best – former Pres. Bill Clinton. Sauron wants to dominate the world and so does Hillary.
  • Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is Saruman – This may be giving too much credit to Reid as Saruman was good for most of life until he was seduced by corruption. I’m not sure Reid has done any good at all. Saruman considered Sauron a power he could usurp. Like Saruman, Reid sees himself above Obama in power and rank as The Senate (with the House) can make law and bypass the President is the percentages are high enough.  Reid has the same smug arrogance as Saruman and shares the same goal – to dominate Man.
  • Former House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi is the creature Shelob. Shelob scared the hell out of everyone in theaters the first time it was revealed, much as Pelosi did in 2006 when she became Speaker of the House. Like Shelob, Pelosi, entangled all of us in a sticky web of legislation, poisoned us with lies, and then drank our blood for dinner. OK, I have not confirmed Pelosi’s actual blood sucking, but you know what I mean.
  • Arizona Senator McGrump is Grima Wormtongue. With all due respect to the Senator’s War Hero status and past service – his time has past for being a force for good in DC. Wormtongue transformed over time in the same manner as McGrump. Grima McGrump has got to go to pasture.

That’s the current list and it is absent a few names. Still not sure where Boehner fits in. His stocked dropped over the debt deal with me. I need more time to match him up.

Back to McGrump – while he was attacking the Tea Party when he used the term “hobbits”, Mc Grump may have actually place a prophecy in motion. It was the hobbits that would save Middle Earth from all its evils of Saruman and Sauron. The Tea Party is a movement of Constitutional conservatives from all walks of life that are demanding political change, engaging in the election process, and beginning to see a turn in the tide of communist backwash that has flown for so long against our great nation. Perhaps the Tea Party Movement will indeed save our great nation from its current evils, although it will not be without similar battles (whether real or political) witnessed by the participants in Middle Earth.

So in preparation for the long journey ahead, remember to always have a positive attitude towards life, have plenty of your favorite spirits around, and quit shaving your feet.