Republicans – Still Fishin’


May 17, 2011 | 1:31 PM

Republicans – Still Fishin’

Republicans – Still Fishin’

Ever been to that favorite fishing hole with your bait, snacks, beverages, and line in the water when you suddenly realize you brought the wrong dang pole! Your fishing in the BIG catfish pond and you need the 40 pound test line and you grabbed the pole with the 8 pound test. Right about then the Big Daddy Catfish of the pond grabs your bait and starts reeling off the line and you know you have a whopper, but you know the second you hit the reel that the line is going to break. That big ole catfish is has already sized you up and classified you as “Grade A Chump” as he takes the line under and breaks it just to teach your stupid butt a lesson.

This wonderful little angler’s nightmare is just how the Republican Party Presidential Nominee field is right now.  The GOP 2012 Presidential is that 8 pound test trying to reel in a 40 pound catfish known as the Republican Party Nomination. The Nomination is just a great big, fat fish because whoever reels in that bad boy gets a chance to fish for THE prize catch better known as the President of the United States. Problem is that none of the current nominees are strong enough to reel in the prize – they break too damn easy.

Another way to look at this is through fishing with a net.  The GOP cast out this greeeeeeeaaaaat, big net for the contention position of Anyone But Obama for the 2012 run.  There is a problem casting out big nets: while you can haul in some big fish, you can also catch a lot of carp (crap in fish terms). That is what is happening right now – a bunch of carp keeps getting in the net and the big catfish is still waiting at the bottom of the pond.

Case in point – the left is just howling that Republicans are not happy over the current “declared” or “exploratory” field. The “polls” are favoring a Obama re-election they declare!  Until we get some big fish in the nominee net, the polls are going to stink like the dead fish that are in contention. Here is a quick look at the carp in contention:

  • Herman Cain – he had a possibility until he remarked that the Fed is just fine as it is. Tells me that you are part of the group debasing our currency. Throw him back.
  • Newt Gingrich – this fish is so old, you wonder how he made it into the net. Go back and review why Newt left the House. Next.
  • Gary Johnson – Don’t let the former Gov title fool you. This guy is pro-choice, wants open borders, and hates the war on drugs. Just cut the line – forget the hook.
  • Fred Karger – openly gay and running for the Republican nominee. I’m not kidding on this.
  • Tom Miller – flight attendant. Now his bio on middle class values rings home, but this man has no money nor any prospects of getting money. Throw this one back to have some time to grow. Start at the state level Tom.
  • Ron Paul – US Congressman. His rhetoric is actually making sense, but will anyone take him serious since this is like his 30th run for the nomination? Keep him on the stringer for luck.
  • Tim Pawlenty – Former Minnesota Gov. Palenty Boring and the choice of Democrats. Ugh, keep him on the stringer next to Paul.
  • Mitt Romeny – Former Massachusetts Gov.  Romneycare and can’t go the distance. This fish died in 2008.
  • Rick Santorum – Former Pennsylvania Senator. Pawlenty’s twin on a Senatorial level. Sorry, we kept Tim on the stringer. Off you go.
  •  Vern Wuensche – Houston businessman. Nice credentials, but no big money to get his name out there. Would need the lottery to make a splash (pardon the pun).


And there you have it. The big fish that jumped the net and are out include Donald Trump and Mike Huckabee. Not sure they made the catch either, but they were better than the current minnows in the bucket. There are still some big fish in the pond that have not been caught for the nomination yet – Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman are the only two I see in the field of undeclared candidates that can clear out the minnows. Both have big names, recognition, ability to make money, have Tea Party support, and are the anti-Christ to liberal Democrats. That simply means if one or both formally declare, look for the liberal press bring a new meaning to shooting fish in a barrel.

Until then, Republicans just have to keep fishin’……